God give me strength

His deployment date is closer than ever and it takes nothing now to get me crying. How I miss him, how proud of him I am, how I love my son. I can't protect him now so I give this job to God. Please protect my son as I can only protect him through you. I'm scared, I miss him, I want him to return to me safe and sound, with all body parts, alive and well with his mind intack and his sense of humor and spirit as well.

I wish I could hold him and fight his battle for him, for I am his mom. I know I can't and he's a grown man doing an honorable duty, but I am his mom. I love him, for I am his mom.

I'm back...

and had a wonderful time with my son. I had a chance to meet some of his buddies and see the barracks both new and old. He is scheduled to fly out soon but he seems to be in good spirits. A little stressed but doing well. Don't get me wrong, he's not happy about going, I don't think anyone is but he has a job to do and is ready to do the job at hand.

I have always enjoyed visiting the various bases as they're all different. Some are older than others and are quite interesting. Most have some type of display and the barracks are interesting to see, the old and the new. It has always impressed me how bases are like a city within a city, pretty much self contained. My son seemed to take some enjoyment of showing us around. The town he's in, well, not condusive to young adults but perhaps it keeps them out of trouble. lol

We did our best not to cry when we said our good-byes but gave each other a big hug. He asked me if I was crying after he said stop, I told him, I won't until he's gone. This good-bye was easier being that we weren't at the airport. For some reason, it just didn't seem as bad. Are eyes were watery but we were good. He said I'll see you soon, well some months down the road. He's hoping he won't have to take leave so soon after deployment but he doesn't have much of a say in that. Last deployment, he was only there for about 2.5 months before he had to take leave. That sucked because when he went back, he had 10 months left. So hopefully this time since he has a higher rank and one tour under his belt he'll have more say in it this time. We'll just have to wait and see.

Proud Army Mom Out
Hooah!

This sucks!!!!

This sucks!!!!!!! I'm sooo looking forward to see my son but dread the fact that when we do he'll be deploying shortly there after. You know you have a child and all you want to do is to raise and protect him/her. I'm so proud of him for serving his country but damn, I can't protect him overseas. Not like I could protect him so far away normally but at least ied's and bullet weren't wizzing towards him. I wish I could shake this fear and worry. This is supposed to be easier on me, I've been through one deployment but I'm more scared this time than before. God please protect my only child, I love him dearly and want him to come home safely and sound alive and well.

It's getting closer

Well in a few days I'll be off to see my son before deployment. I look forward to seeing where he sleeps, his base, his friends and the surrounding area. Just like to see the part of his life that is so far from home.

How I'm going to miss him. He seems in good spirits, he got a chance to go to New York City which is something he had been wanting to do. He's been there before (sort of) but it really doesn't count when you're there for a flight layover for a couple of hours. I can't wait to see the pictures, assuming he took some.

I'm starting to pack to be ready. Trying to pack lightly but I still need my computer, camera etc. Oh well, it'll be fun, I just don't want to have to check luggage in if I don't have to.

Something I did find odd even for me, I'm actually enjoying the show Army Wives. Interesting, I always wanted to live on a base, but my father was out of the service by the time I was around. I just think bases are really cool. Some are old and the building reflect the time period (for some) and it's just neat. I did a USO show at Camp Roberts once, that was pretty cool too. To think that I'm singing on the same stage that Bob Hope once performed on.

Well back to packing for me.

Mother's Anthem

If every single Soldier took his Mother off to war...
It would be the quickest battle that was ever fought before...
The kindest, sweetest Mother would turn into something wild
should any sort of danger pose a threat to her dear child...
There's something in a Mother that kicks in when baby's born
that tells her to protect them and keep them safe from harm....
The female of the species is the fiercest so they say...
So take the Mothers with you
you'll be home within the day....

( Christina January 1995)

I got a kick out of that one.

The Countdown Starts

Well the countdown has started. I won't say how many days until but it is less than 30. Our journey to see him will be bittersweet. For I know it will end too soon for me but I can't wait to see him. I have not been to this particular base but I've always enjoyed the bases. I look forward to seeing this one.

My son still seems pretty upbeat the few times I've spoken to him over the past week. I'm really looking forward to seeing how he lives out there. I wish he was stationed closer to home but then at least he's stateside. I feel for the mothers whose child is in another country. That's tough for visiting.

This past week I had a mother (non-military mom) telling me how she told her son that he was dead to her. What did he do that warranted that? Be a teenager. Nothing out of the mainstream norm of being a teen. I think the kid is 18 or 19. Definitely old enough to follow rules, but to have your mother tell you you're dead to her. I thought that was pretty harsh. The punishment didn't fit the crime. I'm not one to tell someone how to raise his/her child. I made my own mistakes, but I did make sure my son always knew how much I loved him, no matter what. I had my fair share of screaming and even threw some things and slammed a few doors, but my son alway knew I loved him. It really bothered me to hear this, I just wanted to smack her and say this is you own damn fault and quit trying to be such a control freak. If he can't follow the rules, throw his butt out, but you don't tell your child he/she is dead to you just because he/she doesn't spend money the way you would or is a lazy bum, or can't pay back money you seem to keep loaning to him in spite of the track record. My son is about to go off to war and God willing will return to me safe and sound and alive. Here, because she's trying to make a cat into a dog is mentally jacking up her child. I've never told my son he was a loser, I may have said I was disappointed in him but never a loser. Children if told enough, will become what you say they will. He's a teen for crying out loud, how many teens are good with money? Not many.

Ok off my soapbox. I'm waiting for my extra memory card for my camera to come in the mail. I plan on taking a ton of pictures and video. I've got the iPod for the flight, got the room booked already (thanks son, since mom forgot about that) and all we have to do now is get the rental car. Once I get paid, I need to grab a few bucks...afterall, there's a PX awaiting me. lol I love PXs. I can add more to my "shrine" at work and at home of military stuff. New deployment means new stuff. Bless my husband's heart, he just steps back. I guess there's no sense in arguing this one. He knows when to pick his battles, and fighting with mom on military son matters, he'll lose. lol Honestly, I'm not over the top, too much. Can't help it, I'm just a proud army mom.

Sgt. Underhill, May God Bless You

My God bless the family of Sgt. G. Underhill as he has been called home. My prayers and thoughts are with the family, friends and brethern soldiers of his base. I know they speak highly of him. My heart breaks for them. God Bless them all.

Signing off,
K. Proud Mother of an American Soldier
Hooah!

Time is drawing near

Wow, "bad military day", I haven't had one of these things in a while. So I'm locked up in my office with the blinds drawn closed, a note is written on my dry erase board that hangs on my closed door. The note reads, "Gone to lunch...". I have my newly purchased ipod playing with my headphones on. Then a song comes on, "God Give Me Strength". I like that song by Bette Midler, it may not be my scenario, but I start to think about my son going off to war again. I start watching an old commercial that I love from Budweiser of the soldier getting off the airplane and coming through the airport and everyone in the airport stands up and applauds as the soldiers walk through. At the end, the words "Thank you" are shown. How that gives me chills, so I saved it. I'm still listening to Bette and start thinking about how close my son is to redeploying again. sigh I try to fight the tears. Afterall, the last thing I need is to have my office see me cry. On my wall I have my son's battallion's calendar. August happens to be my birth month and it also happens to be the month my son's Company is showing. My son's picture is on it. I cry. Then I hear the words, "God Give Me Strength", and I think "please, I think I'm going to need it this deployment". I really thought the second would be much easier, I think it's harder. I've been doing my best not to really think about his deployment, but I know down inside, the time is being watched and felt. I still remember how I felt when I got the phone call from his base saying that his plane had landed on base, he had truly returned. I cried in the aisle of Vons. lol The grocery checkout clerk, asked what was wrong and I told her, she gave me a hug and said congratulations.