Humpf

See I didn't want to be here at work. I don't want to sound or be bitter (which is a new one for me)about this deployment but to hear someone say, I'm having a stressful day with all this work was enough to make me want to scream. You wanna talk about stress? How about having your son or daughter in another country at war? A country that doesn't seem to value life the same way we do and your child may or may not come home alive. As I roll my eyes, yeah, I work with a lot of pansies. Now isn't that something, wasn't I the one earlier who said I'm able to cry at the drop of a dime? Perhaps they shouldn't allow children off to war when there mother is PMSing. lmao Funny, now that I've put it into print I feel much better now. So much for quiting smoking, I tried. Maybe I should send a letter to my son's commander explaining that my son being in a war is hard on my lungs. Ok, I know, now I'm just being plain silly.

My son is doing a very honorable thing along with his brothers and sisters in arms. I'm proud of the job he is doing and how much he has grown. Now if I can just get him to address me like he does the rest of the civilian world (yes maam, sir etc) yeah right, I only want him to call me mom or his newest title, mamas.

So I have this child who is able and does shoot a .50 cal and other assorted weaponry and by all means is a grown man. Yes, no matter how old he gets he is my child, and my baby. So anyway, we were taking the bus back to the airport (it's so much easier than trying to fight the traffic) and my son puts his head on my lap. Ok, so I thought to myself, "my baby still needs me". I know this sounds stupid, but I know there's another mother out there going, nope, I know what your talking about. It's that weird feeling of your kids not needing you anymore, kinda like you ran out of you usefullness. So it's these little things that tell you, you're still mom and are needed, loved and still wanted as a mom. The odd thing for me was that I actually started going through separation anxiety 6 months before my son turned 18. I couldn't believe it, then he turned 18 and I was thinking what am I going to do. When the word came down that he was accepted by the Army, I was kind of lost. Keep in mind, I raised an independent son and considered myself hard headed and independent but by no means one of those clingy moms but here I was thinking my baby is leaving? I wanted my son to be able to stand on his own two feet, for the summer I use to send him to Oregon to visit the grandparents on their ranch. But that'll be for another story later.

Proud Army Mom...out