The Sounds of Home

I'm sitting here in bed kinda watching Richard Jeni and giggling. Then I hear loud snores, nope, they're not coming from my husband but the dog. The cat is curled up on my leg and the puppy is in the crate. sigh and best of all, I'm off tomorrow. No work for me but I still need to get up early to let the puppy out. Can't wait til she's completely potty trained. She's still too young to be really good at holding the bladder.

Somedays, a lot of day, I'm exhausted. Work can be a big drain and coming home to two dogs running around enjoying themselves and then the occasional, grab what the puppy has stolen from somewhere. But all in all, life is good. I have no restraining orders in my life, I have a job, and I have people around me that love me.

I read some of these blogs and my heart goes out to the mothers who are dealing with deployment for the first time, or the first time their child goes to basic. Yea I still remember those days well. I remember crying at times from the letters I received from my son. Basic isn't easy, and for him, it wasn't the actual physical work that made it hard. It was more of the melding of different guys, kids, put together in an environment that is scary and some just don't cope well. There are fights, arguments and bonding. It's not all bad but eventually they learn to work together. Remember that mothers out there, you're stronger than you think you are and you will get stronger. I say this out of experience. I was having pre-separation anxiety when my son was 17 1/2 years old knowing he would be moving out of the house soon, or so I kinda hoped. At this point he hadn't decided to join the Army yet. When he did leave, that was hard, my baby was gone. I still have every letter that he ever wrote while in basic because quite frankly, the moment he had access to the internet all written letters stopped. Deployment was no different. That's ok, I still have letters. Hang in there to you ladies that are now going through this. Say a lot of prayers if you're a believer, try it if you're not. It got me through along with tons of pictures. After basic, you'll have the privilege of seeing your child graduate. I wouldn't have missed that for anything.

Well my husband is yawning and giving me that look of, can we go to bed now? lol I'll have to write more tomorrow. Until then, Army Mom Out.
Hooah to you Army Moms
Semper Fi to you Marine Moms
and I"m not sure what to say to Navy Moms but good thoughts your way.

Taking a breather

I actually miss posting here but I feel a little spread thin. Still trying to play referee to the puppy and the cat and cleaning up after the little destructo. She, the puppy, seems to fancy herself by tormenting the cat, pulling dishes out of the sink and watching them crash and break on the floor or play fighting with the other dog.

Work is interesting in that karma seems to be trying to make things right amongst some. That is, reality is kicking some in the butt.

Trying to keep the peace between my husband and son and crossing my fingers that my son gets a job. I also hope and pray that my son will get the help he needs. I suspect he is having more problems coping than he led us to believe. For example, I asked him to go to bed instead on sleeping on the couch and he responded by saying, I'm trying not to sleep. Hmmmmmm. I think he's having bad dreams of his past experiences. But how do I get him to get help......

Wow....Taking Chance

On a message board I frequent for Proud Army Moms, the buzz was this movie called "Taking Chance". Some days I'm brilliant and other days well it's amazing I'm a supervisor for an office. Anyway, the Army Moms were talking about this HBO movie and suggested viewing it. It took me a while to find it but I did and watched it. Ok, I teared up through the entire movie, starring Kevin Bacon. I recorded it and debated whether or not to tell my husband. He doesn't always like watching movies such as this. So I come home from work I'm tired and I started talking to my husband about the day's events and I get that look, you are disturbing me watching this show. He then said, you walked in on an emotional part of this movie and I'm trying to be heman like and not cry and you're ruining the moment. So I said "carry on" and turned to see what movie now he's watching, and thinking he was kidding and he's watching the History Channel or something. I turned to the tv and I said, "You're watching Taking Chance? I Tivo'd this, I can't believe you're watching this." His response, "can I finish this movie now?" lmao I got quiet and watched the movie again. He liked the movie but it is heart wrenching, especially since I kept thinking is this what JD, Duffy and Legg went through? I could only hope so. Apparently it is running a few times, so if you get the chance, (no pun intended) watch. However, be prepared, have tissues handy.

No I haven't dropped off the face of the earth

It's been crazy this past month. Problems at work with employees, re-adjusting to having my son back home. You know, the phone ringing more, shoes on the floor among other assorted items. Next weekend I'm fleeing the house for the weekend. I've been kinda being a hermit of some sort. I want to spend time with my son without crowding him, however, that's not a problem, he's usually out with friends. Every once in a while we get a glimps of him telling us about his military life. Specifically when he lost 3 of his buddies in Iraq. I'm sure he hasn't told us all but the fact he was able to talk to us about makes me happy. I still worry about what's going on in his head, is he alright. He's too much like his mom, tends to stuff things...eventually that "stuff" must come out. All in good time.

Another thing that has changed around the house and probably more responsible for my lack of writing or reading is the new addition to our household. Yes, my son brought the pitter patter of little feet with him. Specifically, 4 pitter patter of little feet, German, and 3 months old. German Shepherd, named Sasha. Hmmmm. While the little dickens is as cute as a button, boy I sure forgot how much work a little un-housetrained puppy was. Because while my son, carried a big gun, could lead a platoon of soldiers into a battle, find his way home when dropped from a plane from a topo map, he can't raise a puppy. The patience, time and in my opinon the desire to do what is needed just ain't there. I figure it's just a matter of time before it become our dog as opposed to his dog. I wonder if this is payback for leaving my dog with my parents and never took him back. Probably.



Sasha, the little furball, is quite cute though. She acts like she is trying to figure out what you are saying. Follows me around, but does have a little evil side. She knows when she is doing something wrong. For instance, she'll grab my shoe, she knows the word no, but if I catch her chewing on my shoe, she'll run....with the shoe in her mouth.....outside....towards the mud. I used to train dogs, never a puppy. I thought I was pretty good, but Sasha being 4 months has the attention span of a 2 year old child, or a knat. Oh well, she's really cute and it's hard to be mad at her. She loves our Yellow Lab and he's happy he has someone to play with. It's amazing how much energy a puppy has, they're like the energizer bunny.







The other reason for not writing so often, I'm stepping up from being a tourist photographer to a hobbyist. I've been online trying to find the best camera for me and my budget. So on the 10th, my new Nikon DSLR camera should be here. No more point n shoots for me. My new camera should be here before we leave for Arizona for a good mini vacation. Tons of pictures will be coming I'm sure. Now I'm no professional but I think I do an ok job when I try. Below is a couple of pictures, I think they would have looked better if I had a better camera for what I was trying to accomplish. Believe me, I'm a believer that the camera is only a tool and only makes up part of the equation of a good shot, the rest comes from the photographer and I still have a lot to learn.

Looking back over the years

My son has arrived home to stay. Has it been 4 years already? Now that's an odd statement/question, because it's almost rhetorical. I mean I know it's been 4 years and while it seemed longer I still remember things like it occurred yesterday. I remember going to the recruiting station with my son as he signed the paperwork for infantry. I remember talking with his recruiter. I remember his recruiter coming to our home at 2:00 to pick up my one and only son to take him to the other side of the country. I remember looking at my son's eyes as they filled with water and him fighting back the tears as was I. I remember feeling helpless as I closed the door as the recruiter and my son drove away. I remember the letters my son wrote to me in basic and sometimes I laughed and sometimes I cried. I remember feeling helpless again. I remember when he called me that he was going to graduate but hung up the phone so he wouldn't get caught on the phone. Not sure who's phone it was but it wasn't his. I remember graduation like it was yesterday. I remember when we got the phone call saying he was going to war. I remember saying goodbye to him at the airport before deploying and the tears we cried together. I remember his heart wrenching comment, "mom, it's funny, we may never see each other again". I remember getting the phone call letting me know he was in Kuwait and then again in Iraq. I remember getting the call in the grocery store saying my soldier was back on US Soil Stateside. I remember the second deployment and all the emotions that went with that. And now my child is back home with me, well sort of. Lol, he's been spending a lot of time with his friends. I don't mind, he's earned that and I'm just elated he's back home.

I look at him sometimes and realize he's not the child that left his home 4 years 3 months ago. He's a man...ok with some childlike habits but he's a man now. More assertive and drove across country in a truck that I wouldn't want to drive. A big moving truck. He's thinking of his future and just plain thinking. He still has that sarcasm that I love about him. Well you have to have sarcasm in this family to survive. He has grown so much and has learned so much. I'm truly proud of him. Now I have to part with my deployment bracelet. It's a bracelet that I made from Italian charms that had his unit on it, name, the American Flag and some other items, but I never took it off while my son was deployed. Now I guess it's time to do this. I guess I wanted to wait and show my son that I never took it off.

Anyway, it is just weird how the day I longed for is here but while it didn't seem that long, it seemed to be forever. I'm just so grateful and thankful that my son has come back home. I feel bad for Cody Legg, Shane Duffy and JD Emard's family who won't have that feeling especially this Christmas. I pray for their comfort and peace that their loved ones are looking down at them telling them they are ok. I know this would be a terrible pain for me to bare if I were in their shoes. I thank God I do not have to know this pain. I pray for the other families whose sons and daughters are still deployed or going to deployed and could not spend this Christmas with the family. So I send Army Mom Hugs to all.

As this chapter closes another starts. While my son still has to complete the contract he signed with the Army, he will do so by way of the National Guard. That's fine as that's a little way into the future. Right now for the next few weeks, I have my son at home.

Merry Christmas all and I wish everyone a wonderful New Year!!!

Army Mom Out