Not much to say

There's not much to say today. I haven't heard from my son in about 3 weeks and I'm bummed. I got spoiled on his last deployment; I heard from him at least once a week. I used to hear other moms say that it had been over a month and I was thankful I heard from my son more often. No such luck this time, however, I do know, that no news is good news. I pop in on his blog site from time to time to see if he's posted anything and to check his email as he asked. Sigh. I still haven't been able to bring myself to actually call some of the other moms yet. Not that I don't want to talk to them, but it's their first deployment and they are not handling it well. I know that's no excuse and I should call since I'm the veteran but I'm trying to get myself together and I'm afraid that if they start crying it will bring me more into reality than I care to be right now. I'll call them, but I'm just not ready for it yet. I miss him dearly.

The Soldier's Mother Creed

"I am the mother of an American Soldier"

I give my complete and unwavering support to my soldier.
As my son serves the people of the United States, so I
humbly offer up my prayers for his safety and the safety
and health of those he serves beside.

I respect his choice to adhere to a strict moral code
and system of values that has preserved our great
country for over two centuries.
I accept that my soldier's first duty is to his country
and I understand that this sacrifice he willingly makes
is what keeps our nation great.

I will never expect anything but the best from my soldier
for I know he is capable. I know that a soldier's heart is
true and strong, and that my soldier will endure.

I will never abandon my soldier, my son, my love.
I will love him unconditionally. he will know I am
there for him, even when he is alone.

I am disciplined, emotionally and mentally tough,
learning to wait for phone calls and letters or
emails home. I, like my soldier, am an expert.

I stand ready to do what ever I can do to let my
son, my soldier, know that we are here for him
beside him, we love him and I will pray for swift
destruction of the enemies of our country.
I am the person who stood guardian of this man
who has become my soldier, now our guardian of
freedom and the American way of life.

"I AM THE MOTHER OF AN AMERICAN SOLDIER."

author unknown

A Tribute to Military Moms

Humpf

See I didn't want to be here at work. I don't want to sound or be bitter (which is a new one for me)about this deployment but to hear someone say, I'm having a stressful day with all this work was enough to make me want to scream. You wanna talk about stress? How about having your son or daughter in another country at war? A country that doesn't seem to value life the same way we do and your child may or may not come home alive. As I roll my eyes, yeah, I work with a lot of pansies. Now isn't that something, wasn't I the one earlier who said I'm able to cry at the drop of a dime? Perhaps they shouldn't allow children off to war when there mother is PMSing. lmao Funny, now that I've put it into print I feel much better now. So much for quiting smoking, I tried. Maybe I should send a letter to my son's commander explaining that my son being in a war is hard on my lungs. Ok, I know, now I'm just being plain silly.

My son is doing a very honorable thing along with his brothers and sisters in arms. I'm proud of the job he is doing and how much he has grown. Now if I can just get him to address me like he does the rest of the civilian world (yes maam, sir etc) yeah right, I only want him to call me mom or his newest title, mamas.

So I have this child who is able and does shoot a .50 cal and other assorted weaponry and by all means is a grown man. Yes, no matter how old he gets he is my child, and my baby. So anyway, we were taking the bus back to the airport (it's so much easier than trying to fight the traffic) and my son puts his head on my lap. Ok, so I thought to myself, "my baby still needs me". I know this sounds stupid, but I know there's another mother out there going, nope, I know what your talking about. It's that weird feeling of your kids not needing you anymore, kinda like you ran out of you usefullness. So it's these little things that tell you, you're still mom and are needed, loved and still wanted as a mom. The odd thing for me was that I actually started going through separation anxiety 6 months before my son turned 18. I couldn't believe it, then he turned 18 and I was thinking what am I going to do. When the word came down that he was accepted by the Army, I was kind of lost. Keep in mind, I raised an independent son and considered myself hard headed and independent but by no means one of those clingy moms but here I was thinking my baby is leaving? I wanted my son to be able to stand on his own two feet, for the summer I use to send him to Oregon to visit the grandparents on their ranch. But that'll be for another story later.

Proud Army Mom...out

The Rollercoaster Ride Begins

It's taken me a bit to post again as my son has officially deployed. Crying is an easy thing now for me and I fight to keep the ill thoughts at bay. I try to remember that I must always think positive. I heard from my son briefly and he seems to be doing well. He told me to stay strong. I will do my best. I now must remember to not watch the news and to also remember no news is good news. I've been in touch with the FRG (Family Readiness Group) which act as a liaison between the families and the soldiers. It warms my heart to have them. I know some parents complain that they didn't hear from them much, but I know for me this wasn't the case. My son's first deployment they called and kept me in touch and I'm confident this will be no different. My husband keeps reasuring me all will be well, but I know he is worried too.

What has also helped me is meeting, even if by telephone, other mothers in my son's unit or Battallion. It's nice to have others to talk to that truly understand what you are going through. I also belong to my city's Blue Star Mothers' group. They've also helped in the past. Do I want to go to work tomorrow, nope, but it is best, it'll keep me busy and hopefully keep my mind off of things.

Today I saw my friend's pictures of her baby, now 3, and I thought about my son. How much he has grown up and how no matter how hard it was being a single parent back then, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love my son sooo much and he has brought a lot of joy to my life. And now I share him with my husband. How he has taught my husband a lot as well. Funny how kids do that. He's brought a lot of joy to both of us and I look forward to our son bringing many more years of joy to us.